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A Thankful State of Mind

11/27/2013

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Often times we may become so distracted lamenting the things we do not have, that the many things we do enjoy tend to disappear from sight, sometimes temporarily, others for a longer period of time.   The longer we stay in this state of mind, the more inactive the neural pathways that have led us to strategic thinking and successful action in the past tend to become. We get stocked in a position of victimization and disadvantage that can ultimately render us unproductive and unhappy.

Research has shown that when we smile, our brain tend to not make a difference between a fake and a real smile. In the same way, when we are thankful we activate parts of our brains that increase the perception of happiness and well-being, no matter what the circumstances are and in consequence, we are more prone to act in ways that are fruitful and rewarding. Being thankful also helps fight viruses and autoimmune illnesses by making our immune systems more aggressive.   Why then, not make thanksgiving an everyday exercise?

At Family Counseling and Coaching of Miami, we are thankful for our family and loyal friends, and for the, how God has blessed us with the opportunity to help an increasing number of families, children, and adults to find the courage and the tools within to make changes that lead to purpose driven, healthy and fulfilling lives. What are you being thankful for?







 


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Don't be an A.S.S, be a S.P.O.R.T, instead

11/6/2013

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Do not be an Angry   Stubborn Subject, instead be a Strategic Person  Oriented toward Rejecting  Trouble  
Many people, some more than others, may have found
  themselves interacting in ways that instead of taking them to their desired
  outcome have lead them further away from it. The man standing at the cash register of
the pharmacy, trying to buy nose drops, rushing to get to work on time, and  having to wait on the only line open at the moment, while the cashier has  stepped out to check a price on an unmarked item, may experience a heighten  level of frustration.  His response
may turn into a shouting match with the cashier upon his return, or it will result in contemplating more  strategic alternatives: a) call the office ant tell them he will be
  running a few minutes late, b) leave the drops and get them at another   pharmacy, c) suggest to the cashier that it would be really helpful to all the  people in the line if he could request to open another register.   In the same way the wife frustrated with her husband’s lack of  appreciation as she rushed to get dinner ready after a hard day of work and
feeling sick, may almost instinctively just yell at him and call him all sorts
of names for being “inconsiderate and insensitive”, or she will describe to him,
how she feels and what she needs from him in that moment. 
 The reality is that anger, rarely solves any problems  if any at all. While the lion in the jungle may need to get angry and bite the  head off the other lion competing for his pray, in everyday life, humans do not  need to bite the head off of a one another, in order to attain what they want  and is in harmony with the rest of the world. Yet fueled by the thinking that if he  let the cashier get away with being slow, or her husband be lazy, the whole
world would come crumbling on them and it could only go down from there, the man
and the woman in the previous example acted angrily. 
Given the information available to them and the situation at hand they  could have not have done any better.  Yet when we learn how to clear out those  things that may be pushing us to anger and accept the strategist in ourselves, the  one whose emotions  occur in the here and now for an immediate purpose, anger does not remain. Instead we  live purpose driven lives where emotions serve a motivating and strategic  fuel to our actions. 


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    Ernie Felipe, L.M.H.C

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