According to research, helping others while shifting our focus from ourselves to others less fortunate, even in the middle of our own distress, helps us feel better and empowers us to feel more confident and capable to conquer our tribulations. A certain effect described by researchers as the “relative-deprivation principle” makes it so that when we take time to become aware of others who are less privileged than ourselves we become less concerned with our own difficulties and are less likely to feel disadvantaged or deprived. Instead, we become more empowered to reach beyond our own capabilities. Moreover, helping others, as it has been shown, makes us feel better about ourselves and the world around and us, increasing levels of dopamine (pleasure hormone) and serotonin (mood hormone) in our brains.
Many of us have suffered to some extent a form of deprivation. Deprivation of attention, deprivation of affect, deprivation of education, deprivation of nourishment are some of these forms that can lead to problems in many areas, physical, cognitive, socio-affective, etc. A child deprived from an environment that is stimulating and growth promoting, may grow up to have deficiencies in his/her mental, emotional, social and even physical abilities. An adolescent, deprived from the guidance and nurturance of adults that cannot model prosocial behavior and healthy habits, may wonder confused from one group to another experimenting with destructive and maladaptive patterns of relating and acting. An adult, deprived from a network of consistent care and support, is more likely to be depressed, angry or engage in unhealthy, or antisocial and criminal behavior.
The degree of deprivation a person suffers, however, is not always in agreement with the perception of deprivation the person experiences. Some people who have suffered seemingly insurmountable losses in their lives, often show greater ability to cope with their mishaps than others who may have not (at least in appearance) lost as much. Where does the difference lie? Resilience – an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.
People may experience a greater level of resilience and an increased ability to cope with difficulties in their lives depending on the interplay of the following factors:
· Social Support: Being connected to others makes it easier to obtain knowledge, receive help solving problems, experience a sense of being understood and accepted.
· Perceived Control or Coping confidence: When you think that you can cope no matter what happens to you, you tend to do better after any disaster.
. Hope or Faith: Expecting a positive outcome in spite of it all, confidence that you can predict your life and yourself, belief that outside sources, are acting on your behalf with your welfare at heart, and belief in God.
. Involvement in helping others: People involved in charitable activities and altruistic pursues report greater levels of life satisfaction and happiness overall.
Thus, perhaps one of the remedies to some of the ailments of our world today, where so many of us are stressed out, angry, depressed, in many cases, overwhelmed with loneliness and fear and often recurring to maladaptive ways of coping, is to shift our focus from wanting to receive solace and hope to giving it. A shift from feeling deprived and in need of receiving to an attitude of reaching out to others, while helping them restore confidence and instill hope, may not only contribute to help us all feel more connected and responsible to one another, but it may also push us into more purpose driven and ultimately fulfilling lives, regardless of our socio-economic status, to a less entitled and sectarian society.
Perhaps, as the widow in the scripture shared her last cake of bread with the prophet Elijah to see her bounty multiplied, we too, instead of focusing on how much I may have in my bank account or my pocket, I can chose to focus on how I can make it so that I can provide for myself and help someone less fortunate. Instead of focusing on the pain that I was caused as a child by deprivation of affection, maybe I can share a smile, or a word of encouragement and edification with a child today. Instead of dwelling on the lack of guidance and nurturance I had as an adolescent, I may instead choose to speak to the potential of a youth in distress or a confused and seemingly unreachable teen. Perhaps, instead of yelling back at the person who cut in front of me in line, or the partner who was intolerable and unsympathetic, I will chose today to give tolerance, empathy and love.
.
Many of us have suffered to some extent a form of deprivation. Deprivation of attention, deprivation of affect, deprivation of education, deprivation of nourishment are some of these forms that can lead to problems in many areas, physical, cognitive, socio-affective, etc. A child deprived from an environment that is stimulating and growth promoting, may grow up to have deficiencies in his/her mental, emotional, social and even physical abilities. An adolescent, deprived from the guidance and nurturance of adults that cannot model prosocial behavior and healthy habits, may wonder confused from one group to another experimenting with destructive and maladaptive patterns of relating and acting. An adult, deprived from a network of consistent care and support, is more likely to be depressed, angry or engage in unhealthy, or antisocial and criminal behavior.
The degree of deprivation a person suffers, however, is not always in agreement with the perception of deprivation the person experiences. Some people who have suffered seemingly insurmountable losses in their lives, often show greater ability to cope with their mishaps than others who may have not (at least in appearance) lost as much. Where does the difference lie? Resilience – an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.
People may experience a greater level of resilience and an increased ability to cope with difficulties in their lives depending on the interplay of the following factors:
· Social Support: Being connected to others makes it easier to obtain knowledge, receive help solving problems, experience a sense of being understood and accepted.
· Perceived Control or Coping confidence: When you think that you can cope no matter what happens to you, you tend to do better after any disaster.
. Hope or Faith: Expecting a positive outcome in spite of it all, confidence that you can predict your life and yourself, belief that outside sources, are acting on your behalf with your welfare at heart, and belief in God.
. Involvement in helping others: People involved in charitable activities and altruistic pursues report greater levels of life satisfaction and happiness overall.
Thus, perhaps one of the remedies to some of the ailments of our world today, where so many of us are stressed out, angry, depressed, in many cases, overwhelmed with loneliness and fear and often recurring to maladaptive ways of coping, is to shift our focus from wanting to receive solace and hope to giving it. A shift from feeling deprived and in need of receiving to an attitude of reaching out to others, while helping them restore confidence and instill hope, may not only contribute to help us all feel more connected and responsible to one another, but it may also push us into more purpose driven and ultimately fulfilling lives, regardless of our socio-economic status, to a less entitled and sectarian society.
Perhaps, as the widow in the scripture shared her last cake of bread with the prophet Elijah to see her bounty multiplied, we too, instead of focusing on how much I may have in my bank account or my pocket, I can chose to focus on how I can make it so that I can provide for myself and help someone less fortunate. Instead of focusing on the pain that I was caused as a child by deprivation of affection, maybe I can share a smile, or a word of encouragement and edification with a child today. Instead of dwelling on the lack of guidance and nurturance I had as an adolescent, I may instead choose to speak to the potential of a youth in distress or a confused and seemingly unreachable teen. Perhaps, instead of yelling back at the person who cut in front of me in line, or the partner who was intolerable and unsympathetic, I will chose today to give tolerance, empathy and love.
.
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