Across cultures, geographic locations, and families and groups, it is not unusual to find a myriad of traditions and rituals that often identify these groups and seem to bring cohesion to them. People who indentify with different religious affiliations, for instance, commemorate dates and times of the year they believe of significance and relevance to them (i.e.; Christmas, the births of Jesus Christ; Easter, his resurrection; Passover, the day when God saved his people from the slavery in Egypt, etc). Families celebrate birthdays, family reunions, mothers’ and father’s day, and couples and friends celebrate Saint Valentine Day, among others. These traditions are so powerful that they can break or make the economy of a country, or at least be an indicator of economic growth; they can bring people together from the remotest distances or push them farther apart putting oceans between them.
In the same way, although not as notable as the previous, more frequent celebrations and rituals can be equally powerful. Family dinners, couples weekly dates, children athletic or artistic events, etc, can become a powerful instrument for bringing a family together, or breaking them apart. Traditions, no doubt can break us or make us. But, are they healthy? Do we really need them? No and Yes.
No: when traditions become more important than the event being celebrated, to the point that the intent or purpose is partially or completely lost due to originally unnecessary and/or superfluous additions and detours, whether material or ritualistic, they can become a source of confusion at the very best and the very worst, a source of strife and pain.
For instance, celebrating Easter, which by the way it turns out we may be even celebrating at the wrong time of the year, can for many become a source of confusion, strife and even pain, when the intention of celebrating the resurrection of Christ, the savior, is transformed into a gift exchange ritual or a bunny/egg hunting experience. A time that could be one of reflection and powerful meaning can become a source of stress; frustration and economic disaster when we stroll the stores of the city in search of the “perfect” gift or most clever party favors, in a futile attempt to encrypt our love for someone in an object. Later, instead of spending time together we chose to celebrate by becoming inebriated, which creates further detachment between us. Just the same way, the family dinner we attend may lose its meaning when we spent a great part of it answering to texts and emails on our smart phones, or, when during our child’s basketball game or recital, we spend most of our time chatting with our friends.
Yes: when celebrations and traditions become a joyful opportunity to commemorate a meaningful moment, when we share, like in Christmas, the meaning that this occasion has for our lives and the lives of those we love, and celebrate our relationships giving and receiving attention and love from one another, or, when we mindfully and intently separate time to share our concerns of the day or week, our dreams and hopes and to offer advice and comfort to one another, especially to our youth.
Indeed, traditions and rituals can bring stress, pain and frustration, but they can also bring comfort, stability, structure, and support, factors that often buffer out stress and help us connect with those we love giving meaning and purpose to our lives.
In the same way, although not as notable as the previous, more frequent celebrations and rituals can be equally powerful. Family dinners, couples weekly dates, children athletic or artistic events, etc, can become a powerful instrument for bringing a family together, or breaking them apart. Traditions, no doubt can break us or make us. But, are they healthy? Do we really need them? No and Yes.
No: when traditions become more important than the event being celebrated, to the point that the intent or purpose is partially or completely lost due to originally unnecessary and/or superfluous additions and detours, whether material or ritualistic, they can become a source of confusion at the very best and the very worst, a source of strife and pain.
For instance, celebrating Easter, which by the way it turns out we may be even celebrating at the wrong time of the year, can for many become a source of confusion, strife and even pain, when the intention of celebrating the resurrection of Christ, the savior, is transformed into a gift exchange ritual or a bunny/egg hunting experience. A time that could be one of reflection and powerful meaning can become a source of stress; frustration and economic disaster when we stroll the stores of the city in search of the “perfect” gift or most clever party favors, in a futile attempt to encrypt our love for someone in an object. Later, instead of spending time together we chose to celebrate by becoming inebriated, which creates further detachment between us. Just the same way, the family dinner we attend may lose its meaning when we spent a great part of it answering to texts and emails on our smart phones, or, when during our child’s basketball game or recital, we spend most of our time chatting with our friends.
Yes: when celebrations and traditions become a joyful opportunity to commemorate a meaningful moment, when we share, like in Christmas, the meaning that this occasion has for our lives and the lives of those we love, and celebrate our relationships giving and receiving attention and love from one another, or, when we mindfully and intently separate time to share our concerns of the day or week, our dreams and hopes and to offer advice and comfort to one another, especially to our youth.
Indeed, traditions and rituals can bring stress, pain and frustration, but they can also bring comfort, stability, structure, and support, factors that often buffer out stress and help us connect with those we love giving meaning and purpose to our lives.
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